Throw All Your Favorite Foods in the Trash, Right Now

You heard us. As a health and wellness website, we’ve been coddling your love for sugary, salty, fatty foods for too long. That ends today.

We’ve developed a five-step, life-changing method to make all your healthy eating dreams come true.

  1. Open your cupboards, refrigerator and pantry and rid yourself of all tempting treats.
  2. You know where you hide the really good snacks, so your kids/significant other/roommates won’t find them? Yeah, clean that out too.
  3. Cancel all your social commitments and plans that revolve around food or will even be near things you can eat.
  4. Go shopping for replacement food, being careful to only select pure, raw, clean, natural, organic items. We hear baked air is surprisingly good.
  5. Print out this list, crumple it up and throw it in the garbage, because well, that’s what it is. (Okay, recycle it because presumably you printed it on paper and we do love the earth.)

The idea of a “perfect” diet is unrealistic and unattainable. It can even be dangerous when taken to extremes.

Our social media followers call us out all the time when we share healthy alternative recipes for festive foods like paczkis, tailgating treats, holiday staples and comfort foods. (Your eyeroll emoji game is strong, guys.) But, the fact that we give you healthy ideas and alternatives should never be taken to mean that you shouldn’t enjoy the real thing sometimes! (In moderation, while walking briskly, as one does.)

Kidding. Just kidding.

Food and the enjoyment of ALL THE FOODS is part of life to be celebrated. Sharing a meal or recipe brings people together, fosters community and can be a source of comfort, celebration and tradition. We don’t want you to miss out on all that! So, here’s our real list. Print it out as a reminder to yourself that enjoying food as part of a healthy, balanced lifestyle is a joyful pursuit. Bonus points if it was so good you had to lick your fingers.

  1. There is no such thing as a “bad” food, only ridiculous portions. Focus on foods proven to increase your longevity and vitality such as fruits and vegetables, whole grains, heart-healthy fats and lean proteins. Drink lots of water. But have that slice of birthday cake – another trip around the sun for a friend or family member is worth something sweet, right? Just don’t eat the entire cake because then everyone at the party will be mad at you.
  2. You’re amazing, just the way you are. Maybe your relationship with food and your body is strained because you feel like you’re not living up to the ideal in your head. Measuring yourself against everyone else’s social media highlight reels and filtered images can skew reality. While striving toward a healthier lifestyle is admirable (and obviously something we encourage) if it comes with a lot of negative self-talk, work on that just as hard as what you’re putting on your plate. You deserve to feel good. Eat the healthy foods because they make you feel that way, not because you’re punishing yourself. And talk to yourself like you would to your best friend – because you’re pretty awesome, too. Remember that you are a masterpiece and a work in progress at the same time. It is possible to be healthy at every shape and size and it’s important to remember that we’re all made differently.
  3. Take it one bite at a time. Every day and every meal is a new opportunity to choose health and your best self. Just because you had a donut for breakfast doesn’t mean you can’t balance that out at lunch with a nutrient-dense and veggie-packed salad or bowl of soup. Don’t view a less-than-perfect meal (or day, or heck, even a week – it happens) as a reason to feel bad or as an excuse to not even try to find the eating balance that works for you.

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Photo credit: fizkes

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